Want Love? Try your wings

So I’ve fallin in love with this Amel Larrieux album “Lovely Standards” and this record “try your wings” is the perfect note of insperation to my single readers

If you’ve never been
In love, and your longing
For the happiness it brings
Try your wings

If your hungry for the
Sound of a lover
saying sentimental things
Try your wings

Even the tiniest
Bluebird, has to
Leave its nest to fly
What a bluebird can
Do you can do too
If you try

If you’ve always had
A dream, and you’ve
Been afraid that it
Would not come
True hither to
Fall in love and
You will find that it’s
Just what you’ve been
Dreaming of

The first love never
Comes twice. So
Take this tender advice
When it comes
Try your wings and
Fly to the one you love

My Mother Called Me a Faggot! (Part 2)

So Picking up where I left off….

… She replied, ‘me kissing my boyfriend on the cheek and me dancing with my guy friends (the electric slide; mind you) was out of line’ and it took away from the evening. Her words to me were, “The party was a total success other people come up to me at end saying it was cool party but… What’s up with Patrick? And I had wonder was this your fathers 60th birthday or your coming out party? It blew my night.”

“You need to know that everything isn’t appropriate in front everybody”
And that’s when it started, the question became, “well what would you have do? ” and she said just “tone it down” when you’re in front of family. Naturally I said I didn’t think I did anything out of line my tongue wasn’t all down his throat I wasn’t dressed in a rainbow sitting on his lap. I kissed him on the cheek maybe twice the entire party and held his hand all of 2 seconds.

Again my stepmother said all sorts of people were at that party I didn’t have fling it in everyone’s faces, “you just came out a few weeks ago give us sometime”. I was like what want me to do pretend I’m straight when I’m around you or your friends act like he’s not my boyfriend.

She said, no that’s not what she was saying then she went into this whole thing about how I’ve been married to your father 15 years and I know I have to act a certain way with him around certain groups of people.

That’s when I realize she had no idea what she was actually asking of me and when I tried explain she didn’t want to hear so I just said agree to disagree, then she was like well if you can’t tone it down you can’t come around and by me she meant my boyfriend and I.

What was crazy to me is me and my father had spoken before my stepmom and I had spoken and after we had spoken and he didn’t say a word to me about what anyone said to him about me at the party. Because genuinely accepts me for who I am. My dad has reached a place in his maturity and spiritually were all that matters to him is that I’m happy and health.

My stepmother on the other hand doesn’t realize that as a straight person a woman especially no matter how you chose to act around people with your husband no one has ever TOLD you how to act around your husband or will they ever, that’s not the way things work.

So I refuse to betray my principals to obey rules that are unfair to begin with. So we stopped talking.

Then a recently I learned that she been spying on my on facebook and Twitter via her friends and co-workers because she is not memeber of either of these sites.

I stopped by my parent’s house a few weeks ago pick up some mail and say hello to my dad. He turned out to be sleeping when I got there, and my stepmother look like she wanted to say something to me so asked her what was wrong. She went on about how I ruined, “her party” and how I show too much on my facebook and twitter accounts.

I explained to her it’s my life it can be as private or as public as I wanted to. Then she said, “everyone can know you’re a faggot…”

But I didn’t let her finish her statement; I just said conversation over… I have never been that angry, heartbroken and disgusted with anyone in my entire life! No up to that point has ever called me that word to my face, it’s a word I hate it’s worse than the “N” word to me. It is not a word I use or tolerate use of. And up into that point my queer experience in life had been a positive on. I’ve never been bashed or harassed for being queer or anything of that nature. And to have it come from one that professed love me no matter what hurt me in a way I can’t describe. And I haven’t spoken to her since.

I just don’t think she understands how hard it is to be young, black and queer.

My Mother Called Me a Faggot! (Part 1)

This just something I’d like to share, I think all queer men have experienced this in one form or another..

Life is hard for a black man period. It’s harder when you’re a black man and queer because people of color have a tendency to get funny when it comes to gay. I stopped seeking approval for the life I live a long time ago, but what I find I do need at times is a certain level of respect and understanding. Understanding that because of who I am it’s going to be hard for me, so please don’t make it any harder.

Usually when I’m dating someone I don’t tell my family about them, whether it’s a guy or a girl unless we’ve been dating over a year. Only because my family has tendency to be very critical of whom I date more specifically my stepmother.

Back in January stepmother told me she was planning a party for my dad’s 60th birthday, and that I should invite a few friends etc… And immediately I thought of my boyfriend whom at that point we had been dating 6 months. I am extremely in love with him and this has been the deepest relationship I’ve ever been in. But I still wasn’t sure whether or not to invite him for two reasons. Because of how my family is and because at this point I had not “formally” come out to them (but I was sure they knew, it wasn’t something I tried to hide). So naturally I turned to Teneille for advice.

And told her about my 1 year rule and all, and her exact words to me were, “Patrick, that’s ridiculous and childish rules don’t apply in matters of the heart! Who waits a year that’s crazy?”

I trusted her advice and followed it, I came out to my dad and my step my mom and told then I was dating Tony whom they had met before. They said they already knew (naturally) and I was their kid and as long as I was happy there are ok with who I am.

The day of the party comes I’m running around helping set up the hall running errands etc. I brought Tony and a few of my other friends, and didn’t get to spend too much time with them because I was running around playing the socialite son. Talking to the guest making sure everyone had what they need at their tables making sure everyone had gotten food served to them. Basically a lot more than I had to be doing considering my fathers youngest son.

But I danced the electric slide with my friends had a drink or two, we chilled had fun, no one got stupid or did anything out of line or so I thought. It’s not like we were grinding on the dance floor in a drunken heat.

A week or so later I went my parent’s house to pick up some mail and my little sister told me my stepmother needed to talk to me. In the Laundromat of all places. Basically my stepmother told me that my friends and I behavior at the party was inappropriate.

And I was like what are you talking about?…. (To Be Continued)

Love Is Not An Emotion…

This is an excerpt from the book I am writing called, Lessons In Love…

It’s from what is currently chapter 4: “Learn”

“….I had to learn that love is not an emotion, love is spiritual means of survival and it’s interconnect to you the life force in ways I don’t know enough to explain. If love we’re a physical element it would be something like blood that how essential it is. Blood serves its purpose without any involvement cognoscente input from you. Much of the same is love, you can’t control love, it works and is working whether or not you’re aware of it. Take my situation for example,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and we have an inner circle of mutual friends. A few months ago it became apparent to me that he had feelings for a female friend of ours. This was a friend of ours that I, prior to this had suggested bare our children. So when this came up the logical thing seemed like it would be fine for “us” to date her. With none of us been in a polygamous relationship before it was a little difficult starting to say the least, at least for me it was. Within the first few weeks or so I knew I wasn’t feeling it, transitioning a friendship into a romantic relationship is something I’ve shied away from in the past because of previous relationships. For me the chemistry just wasn’t there. But for my boyfriend it was, I could see clear as day he was in love with her. I wasn’t, I love her as a friend but not as lover. But I said nothing at first. Why? Firstly I thought maybe I was over reacting or acting prematurely, thinking maybe I should give it more time and my feelings might change. Secondly because I was afraid, I loved him so much I was afraid of losing him in any way. Thinking by me saying I didn’t want this to be a trio would push him away because he wanted children. I have never been in this situation before; I had no idea what to do so I was more or less frozen in fear. I kept my mouth shut, not realizing the things I was holding were surfacing in other ways.

I became jealous and resentful towards her, distant and cold to him because I felt I couldn’t tell anyone how felt out the fear of losing everything. And everyone could see I was unhappy but me. Fights and arguments sprung out of this, until one day I just had to be honest with them and myself. Of course over the months things had become incredibility sorted so my honest came across messy, rather than if I had said something early. But by that time I was so far gone I couldn’t care anymore. I was as cold as ice, my emotions, my heart, my love had become so tangled I was numb.

But I knew I had to fix this and pull myself together. I removed myself from the trio, he still dates her but I don’t, and I still I am with my boyfriend. By that point my love was little damaged or so I thought. At one point I really wanted to call the hold thing off and say fuck it. But then I realized that the love I had for both of them was still there it was all the emotion I was feeling about the situation that was clouding it. And I just had to let it go, the anger, the jealousy, the resentment, all had to go. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, to be mature enough to realize just because he loves someone else doesn’t mean he loves me any less. Nothing can take love away from me except for me, and subsequently I was the only one who could save it. All those things I was feeling had nothing to do with my love for him and never will.

Love is not an emotion it’s a process. And the process is different for each of us. We are born with pure love, which is without fear or mistrust. It is only when the world teaches us fear and mistrust that love becomes corrupted and we must learn to love again.”

Your The One… Just Not The ONLY One

I often wonder about the concept of a one true love, and if such a thing actually exist. And the short simple answer to that is no. In a world where monogamy is the norm, and fairy tales & story books form our adult concepts of love. But what works in the fantasy of a story but surely does not always apply in the reality of life…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not down and out on the concept of true love, but a one true love is not something I think is plausible. Love is not an emotion, love is a way to live. other emotions such as jealousy or anger may come into play when dealing with matters of the heart but they are not what love is.

Lets look at the Mashonda & Alicia Keys / Swizz Beats situation… Cheating or adultery are nothing but a breaching of a social contract that exist in some relationships “You agreed to be with me and only me for as long as we’re together” and when that commitment is broken, it’s cheating. Now if no such agreement exist, what is the to cheat over? cheating doesn’t necessarily exist in the confines of your relationship contract. Now Mashonda did what most women in her position would do, and called Alicia on her bluff. But Alicia is not in the wrong here, nor is she responsible for ruining Mashonda’s marriage with Swizz. Falling in love with a man that happens to married is not a crime (morally arguable yes, crime no). This truth remains, “We can’t chose who we fall for.” We can weight are options as far as whether or not go farther.

So there is indeed a choice between a “Spark” choice and a “Smart” choice but more often than not they are one and the same.

My point is this, just because your partner loves someone else doesn’t mean he loves you any less. It takes strength to be bigger than jealous, anger, and restment… But it is possible, and we could still hold on to the ones we love and be better people for it if we could.

I wanna know what love is?

I go on and on in my ramblings about love, and relationships, life, and life choices. But I wanna know what you think?

If you’ve ever been in love, what was it like? What did it make you do? How did it make you feel? Did it change your life?

It’s more than breaks, and makes ups and emotions, it’s more than work, it’s more than the life that we submit ourselves to. What can love really do?

I wanna hear from you….

Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel – Album Reviews

Unlike other bloggers I waited until this album was officially released before I did my review.

Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel Is Mariah Carey’s 12th in studio album release and surely her best release of the decade. The album is solidly constructed from beginning to end, depicting perfectly the fall of a relationship from fuck up to break up.

With this album, lambs (Mariah fans) can clearly see that she tried to do what she did with the Rainbow Album of 1999 of telling a storty with the entire album, except this time she did a way better job of pulling it off.

The album opens with the track “Betcha Gon Know” a whispery R&B track that tells the tale of a Mariah catching her man in the act. The lyrics are strong and the imagery is amazing. At the same time not taking itself too seriously with the song ending in,

“This is for real for real, Oprah Winfrey whole segment for real for real, Barbra Walters 20/20 for real for real, 60mins for real.”

The follow up track “Obsessed” is sadly out of place with the entire album, every other track fits tightly into the storyline…

Some of my favorites include, “It’s a Wrap”, “Up Out My Face” & “Candy Bling” All of which Mariah delivers her classic strong vocals on!

This highly artistic album where she uses interludes, and reprises which I haven’t seen from many artist in long time and she uses them beautifully and to the point. my only tiffs with this album are, the song “More Than Just Friends” is a little forgettable, and the interlude “Languishing” wasn’t a full song, I was wating for her to kill the vocals at the end but instead it went right into “I want to know what love is“

Over all, Memoirs gets (Out of a possible 5 hearts)

Lyrical Content: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Production: ♥ ♥ ♥ (to many records produced by The Dream)

Vocal Composition/Arrangement: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Track List:

1. Betcha Gon Know

2. Obsessed

3. H.A.T.E.U.

4. Candy Bling

5. Ribbon

6. Inseparable

7. Standing O

8. It’s A Wrap

9. Up Out My Face

10. Up Out My Face (The Reprise)

11. More Than Just Friends

12. The Impossible

13. The Impossible (The Reprise)

14. Angel (prelude)

15. Angels Cry

16. Languishing (interlude)

17. I Want To know What Love Is

18-21. Obessed Remixies

Purchase On Amazon

#1

 

ooo sexy

I decided to start this blog because I have lots of things going that I feel I should share…I’ve decided to go full force into following my dream. This is my life, my friends, my family, my love…

 

 

This is who I am!

OH SHIT Aubrey Got Kicked out of Danity Kane

Well last night after YPC (Youth Pride Chorus) my ass was laid out so I didn’t watch any TV not even the debate but Apparently Aubrey O’day…was kicked out from group on the Making The Band 4 Season Finale!!!

This is what I read on media take out:

Well MediaTakeOut.com was watching it … and child there was drama. First off, Aubrey and Aundrea were both talking smack to Diddy about cliques being formed within the group. And then the girls were complaining about rumors of Dawn going solo.

And the … well, we’ll check out this summary taken from the MTV website:

When they arrive back in New York City, they head over to Bad Boy Records to meet with Diddy. Things start to heat up as Diddy talks to the girls about the future of Danity Kane. 

The girls lay it out all on the table and speak about their untrustworthy relations with each other. The group comes to a crossroad with their careers, and Diddy discusses that the “reality of the situation has changed with the vision.” Danity Kane had four great years, a number one album with MTV nominations. Diddy’s proudest moment was watching them perform on tour, but he is uncertain whether or not he should invest millions into this group if they can’t work together. 

During their group meeting, Aubrey gives Diddy lip and he decides to kick her out of Danity Kane.

Next season, D Woods gets eliminated. Is this Making The Band or SURVIVOR!!!

 

Check The Trailer!!!:

 

AND ON TOP OF THAT THE BITCH IS PREGNANT TOO!! well allegedly 

 

 

Shmm the pictures speak for themselves

While Watching Aladdin With Coco Crew

 

Cool

So last night the crew came over to watch a movie. And we wound up watching Aladdin, a movie that I love!! But I found out Ms. Dee loved more than me because she knew every-word of the movie literary lol. 

But While discussing a certain sleep over, I discovered. WE ARE TOTALLY BITCHES LOL.. 

I really thought it just me how had that time of thought process but I’m glad to see witty sarcasm, interpersonal relationship insight (an intellectual way of saying bitchy) is not wasted on the youth.

 

But I’m super excited about peer ed!!!

Adventures With Marcus

I Hung out with Marcus this afternoon with is always fun! We did Tech Creations as at YES.. Which is an ok group. If your into computers you should try it out.

We went for coffee and opted not to go gender X… Which was a blessing cuz apparently there was drama lol…

But we had pretty interesting conversation about human nature…and real estate (We’re gonna go look at some places!!) and the economy. And our theory is humans have been conditioned to be greedy and it’s never a problem until there is a problem.

I’m going back to work tomorrow and I have an action packed  week head to keep up with me follow me on twitter @ http://twitter.com/mrsykes

The Jacky O Show Is Ovah!

Omg if you guys haven’t seen this show you have too Jacky has his own web cast…I love it! 

 

Beyonce New Singles Suck! well kinda

I‘m  as much of  Beyonce fan as the next guy but the new single she premiered on Myspace this week for her up coming Album Entitled “Era” dropping November 18th.

Her first singles “If I were a boy” and “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it)” are kinda weak for the Queen B Material I’m used too.

Now I know artist evolve and change and I’m allowing her that! But to quote Miss Info “That ain’t nothing but a glorified double dutch song” referring to Single Ladies.

But you be the Judge:

If I Were a Boy – Beyonce

Single Ladies (Put Ring On It)

Mini Sleep Over Weekend w/ The Coco Crew

There’s not much to say about this one I’ll let the photos do the the talking…oh and if reader are wondering about the daily Flicks, apparently I ran over my bandwidth for free accounts on flickr so I’m gonna start a paid account on  wednesday and get that back up and running.

 

One word… Ovah lol

-

I saw Tailor Made From I love New York @ a Gay Bar

 

Me & Tailor-Made

So I’m @ Pieces (Gay Bar In the West Village) for my friend Twilight’s Birthday day. And we sit down and I say to my Boyfriend “yo is that’s Tailor-Made from I Love New York?” and He’s Like “No baby It”s not” but I we’ve been this situation before. Very simple solution blackberry/ Sidekick google images.

And turns out it was Tailor-Made… So I go up to him being the urban socialite that I am and ask, ” Are you who I think you are?” and he’s like “yeah” so I ask for a picture and he agrees not knowing that this would be posted to my blog less than 3 hours later lol.

Listen, I don’t know if dude is Gay or not (Cuz being at one of the most notorious gay bars in the city is just circumstantial evidence) but if would corroborate with my theory The New York AKA Tiffany Pollard is a MAN! But the dude he was chatting it up with and feeling on at Pieces was definitely not straight! 

But I digress… review the evidence and draw your own conclusions….

 

Exhibit A

 

Exhibit B

 

 

Oh and that bitch Heidi S. from project runway season two  was there too, just as a side note.

Thanks Mr. Mills for letting me use his camera phone so I could post this also immediately!! I love technology!

 

Damn Aubrey Sunk Low She’s Hosting Parties In Queens

From Danity Kane to damn near selling it (cane that is) 

Ms. Aubrey O’day is Hosting a weekly party at a club in Astoria Queen NY….BUT WHO THE FUCK PARTIES IN QUEENS????

Check the flyer…Hell maybe I’ll go.. Who’s down?

 

I Just Got The Ultimate Reality Check!

Just as I’m riding high on life, reality comes and smack the shit out of me and run…

 

Today is my 4 month anniversary, today is also the day of celebration for BCT’s (brooklyn Congregations Together) Men’s Month and I have been performing my poetry about black men and I knocked em’ dead this morning so I was really excited!

 

Then I saw the green lanterns facebook status and an eyebrow raised. So apparently his mother is moving to Virginia in january and wants to take his little brother with her naturally. An invitation was also excited to him to come along….

He told me it’s two months from now so naturally he has to take his time and think about it. But his drving though is he doesn’t wanna miss his little brother growing up. Which I completely understand. And that’s fine with me. if he were to leave me for any reason I’m glad it’s that.

But a myriad of thoughts run thru head… I love him I really do more than life itself in fact. But I also love myself and from experience long distance relationships don’t work…They hurt too much!

And if push comes to shove (for lack of a better analogy) I may have to prepare myself to let go of the love life. Now that’s some shit! 

The reality of all things considered, Virginia wouldn’t work for me and what I’m doing with my life. And you can’t build a relationship off a weekends and holidays.

Who knows maybe God is testing me…or it really  was to good to true.

Just Dance

The YES dance was poppin last night! I’ve never danced so hard in my life…I had so much fun it was awesome.

I saw a lot of people I’ve never seen @ the program then I was informed that there are a lot of people that only come to yes dances.

I met some people that I’ve been friends with on myspace for ages and never met before. So that was really cool. It was like a big sexy family reunion…..

Ian & Rudy, and Suecrey* successfully manged to throw my back lol.

I’m amazed the the YES program has that kind of pull in the young LGBTQ community. And even happier that nothing popped off….

So I’m sitting here at church waiting for service to start….and I realize that my blog has hit 600+ views in less than 2 weeks. So you guys obviously like what your reading.

So what wanna here about from me that would make you happier? Advice? More Celeb gossip? More personal stuff… leave a comment and let me know.

Madonna & Guy Ritchie Divorce

 

Madonna and Guy Ritchie

Yet again another celebrity “power couple” calls it quits. Personally I think Madonna could have done better in the first place.

 

 

But here are the facts:

 

THE SETTLEMENT:

GUY RITCHIE: will get at least £20million ($34 Million USD) in cash and properties worth many more millions

Plus + 1,200-acre country estate and a swanky London pub.

The cash is to cover their London properties — a family townhouse in Marylebone, a ten-bedroom property next door and two mews cottages each.

The total value will be around $60million — enough for Guy to walk away satisfied. [London Sun]

 

MADONNA:

 

 keeps her New York and Los Angeles homes without having to delve deep into her estimated £300million fortune.

A source close to the couple told The Sun last night: “The negotiations were relatively painless. Guy knew what he wanted and Madonna knew what she was keen to keep.

 

 

Well damn the material girl barely  broke a sweat. And she’s apparently been asking Gwyneth Paltrow for relationship advice… The two have been friends for years… But really Madonna, Paltrow? Could at least been cute and called Diddy or somebody. 

 

THE KIDS:

 

Madonna and David

The biological father of Madonna’s adopted son David  released this statement to several news papers after hearing news of the divorce:

 

 

“This is a new and terrible thing to happen to him,” Yohana Banda told the Herald Sun. “I am too upset to think clearly. [David] is only three years old and he has been through so much.”

Yohana Banda is now remarried and lives with his family in Malawi, where Madonna and Guy Ritchie adopted David two years ago after his mother died from complications with childbirth.

“I have the joy of a new family and I even have a new son. But now when I think of David in danger of living outside a family life I find it unbearable. I find it hard to believe God intended this.”

“This woman Madonna told me herself that David was beautiful and made her happy and she promised to take good care of him. Now I see him in a big bewildering crowd in the street with people pushing and shoving, and many cameras around, and without a mother and father to hold his hand. I’m feeling bad for him.”

David's Biological Father

 

 

 

 

The singer, 50, was expected to move to New York with her three children, Lourdes, 12, Rocco, seven, and David, two, once her split from the British director was finalised.

But it has been claimed she may stay in London because her children are happy with their school.

Although Madonna is expected to spend a lot of time away from Britain, it is thought her home base will still be in the UK. [UK Telegraph]

Honestly I hope she’s more of a woman than that and doesn’t take his kids away.

 

 

But this doesn’t seem like that messy drawn out kind of thing. 

 

 

 

 

Her Kids

 

Criptic Away Messages and Status Updates

Honestly I just think we’re so in love we just be tripping some times lol.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an internet net junky! I check my e-mail no less than 20 times a day.

I check my facebook every 20mins check my myspace 5 times a day. Update my twitter God only knows…and my AIM away messages crazy to say the least.

And I never thought anyone paid too much attention to them. He does…and it was worrying him to say the least. Making him think I was hinting toward a break.

And I was caught off guard! Sure some of the songs I quote from or put as song of the day may raise an eyebrow. But there are really nothing more than random thoughts and song I hear throughout the day.

My status message are sometimes criptic because my thoughts at the momemnt maybe just that complex and there is no easier way to explain them.

So don’t take me too seriously baby lol.

Or my readers at times lol.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE LMFAO

For a Limited time only, Halloween night Mr. Sykes is going blonde…don’t have any place come chill with me and the crew for one night only and blonde Sykes hits the streets

1,200 Views in 6 days suck my balls BET/ NYSD Comeback

So they said a brother didn’t have enough experience or readers to attract the kind of attention they need from blog readers on their site……

WELL F U BET….. Who Is Mr. Sykes has been up 6.5 days and has alreay reached over 1,200 views and has readers in 8 countries….

And now that I have numbers on my side, I’m going to shop my work at major magazine publications!

ALSO, I am mega hype about of return of NYSD ( New York Style Diary) for those of you that don’t know… NYSD movement was started by some of my favorite people and now it’s taking a whole new direction.

On their Boys + Clothes grind

Check out this trailer:

For more from the Girls, Boys & Their clothes

Offical is 10.31.08

Boysandclothes.com

My Dream Phone & Dream Camera

I am very excited about next two up coming electronic purchases ^_^

The first being the Blacklberry Storm!

Debuting with Verzion this phone is a bloggers dream….

Though there are no tentive relase date I am sure this sexy beast of a phone is soon to come.

It’s has a touch screen, 3.2 mega Pixle camera, Live You Tube, Facebook & Myspace apps w/ direct up loads, it syncs with itunes and window media, records video. You listen and play streaming web content…so much more… [verzion.com]

I am so switching to verzion for this t-mobile sucks and I’m sick of my Sidekick

Next my buying my new digital camera I broke my old on a few weeks ago….

I Simply love kodak digital cameras

And the 10.3 mega pixel Kodak M1063 is perfect for me.

It takes pictures and records video in HD res so the quality is flawless. The camera intergrets with most photo software. It uses a chargeable ion battery no stupid Double A’s.

I am

I look in the mirror, what do I see? I see courage, opptimism, creativity. I am best at what I know, and I don’t need no body to tell me so.

I am a man, I am a woman. I am connected to the earth and the sky. I know the secrets they only dream of. Yo your who you are so Am I.

I’ve learned selflessness, righteousness, years of wisdom and bitter fear I guess.

Still I am a man, I am a woman. I am connected to the earth and the sky. I know the secrets they only dream of. Boy you are what you are so am I.

Jennifer Hudson Mother Shot & Killed

Jennifer Hudson’s mother shot and killed Police are looking for a white 1994 Chevrolet Suburban with Illinois license plate No. X584859

Jennifer Hudson Family Murder Update

 

 Firstly, I would like to say my heartfelt prayers go out to the Hudson/King family. I am writing about this out of genuine concern. I am as a person extremely disturbed and disgusted that this could happen to anyone, with only vague explanations as to how or why!   

For those of you who don’t know what’s going on:

Last Friday, October 24th Jennifer’s Mother: Darnell Donerson, Her brother: Jason Hudson were found in there mother’s south side Chicago home shot dead. 

Also Hudson’s nephew Julian King who was reported missing at first was found inside Jason Hudson’s white

Juilan King-Jennifer's Nephew

 SUV in the 1300 block of S. Kolin Avenue on Chicago’s South Side at around   8AM on Monday. 

 

In addition, William Balfour( Juila Hudson ex-husband) “remains a person of interest,” police added. However, “no suspects have been named.”

 

 

Jason Hudson

 

 

This is a horrendous case and those responsible will be put to justice. Or not hopefully we won’t have another Biggie/ Tupac murder on our hands.

 

 

 

 

Jennifer Left, Darnell (mother) Center, Juila (Sister) Right

Lessons In Love Part I: Live, Learn, Love, Then Live Again

STEP 1: To live and live actually you must have a realization of self. Like my grandmother and Ms. Lauryn Hill once told me “stop your compromising and live” that is, stop compromising yourself and live. The real you is more interesting than the fake somebody else.

So often we give watered down versions of ourselves to the world so it’s more comfortable for everyone else. Too concerned with fitting in or being “like” to ever realize what it’s truly like to just be. Just live.

 

STEP 2: Learn, in this world as humans we are taught or mis-taught rather of how to function in society. We learn oppression, how to oppress, to repress ourselves. We are taught that as long as it looks nice on the outside every-things ok. Meanwhile own inside is dying. In order to live more effectively we must unlearn everything thing we’ve been taught and become and open vulnerable vessel and let our actual experience teach us. Because whats good for everyone else may not be good for you. Let life teach you, Let God teach you let love teach you.

STEP 3: Love, is the simplest thing that we make so hard. Love is beautiful, but we have to respect love and it’s power in our existance. It can make you feel ten feet tall and 1 inch high at the same time and that’s power. Realize that we all deserve to be love, and love one another, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to just be loved. And not that love that you see in the movies or on TV, that shit is fake…and does not exist. I’m speaking love that, makes you so angry you could scream, love that makes you wanna make love, the love that makes you sit at home and cry, the love that makes you stay when you wanna leave. The love that makes live when you wanna die…..

STEP 4: Live again, once you’ve learned real love (because it is a process) you can now live and live in spirit and in truth. and now the realness and the wholeness love life and live and love and live and love and live and love and live again.

Shannon Leaves Danity Kane!

Thats right folks Shannon Bex has left Danity Kane. After Diddy booted D. Woods & Aubrey O’Day on the making the band 4 season finally, Shannon directly expressed her feelings that the group was not Danity Kane without Woods & O’day. And Yesterday with a press release to New York’s Z100 radio host Elvis Duran. Bex annonced that she would not continue on with the remaining members…

 

I guess she didn’t wanna be a part of the on coming circus of next seasons making the band

Blogging, blogging, blogging

Okay missed you guys I haven’t blogged all weekend, and a lot went down. I had a lot a pictures to post, and stories and celebrity gossip…all of which will be going up tonight if I can finish the first half my homework (damn grad school)

But it the next few post will be something like this:

+ Halloween (Mr. Sykes Goes Blonde)

+ Sleep Over Weekend

+ Things White People Like w/ Mr. Madori

+ Getting over the big urban mixtape

Halloween Weekend

This halloween was alright for me. I did the same thing I’d last year, I went to the parade with my girls. We always have good time I love my friends. But this year I felt the parade was too restricted, over crowed, and mismanaged. West 4 street was hell on earth. But had a great time and wound up going to Jekell & Hyde.

I took Pictures of interesting costumes I saw, and funny group pictures. I also dyed my hair blonde for halloween and have some pictures of that.

 

Blonde Superman

Blonde Superman

MR. Sykes as a Blonde

Ode to Zukrey

Thunder Cats snarf

Halloween Parade o8′

Sexy Night Elf

Damn Lex Luther! Ay

The Super friends lol

My Sexy Boyfriend

 

Ode to Zukrey

Thunder Cats snarf

 

 

 

 

 

 

Halloween Parade o8

 

Sexy Night Elf

 

Damn Lex Luther! Ay

 

The Super friends lol

 

My Sexy Boyfriend

Obama Election Day Chronicles

This is my election day experience, from start to finish, beginning, voting to the win! This all video I shot!

 

At 6:30am at my voting site in Flatbush brooklyn the line to vote was over 2 blocks long.

 
Discussing what having a black president could mean

125th Street Harlem Election Night: it was amazing!!!

This some footage from in front the Apollo theater

No one on the corner has a swagger like Obama….

Storm Hunt Starts Now!

Verzion Wireless is offering one of the largest Scavanger Hunts in new york city starting today, With the pending release of it’s latest smart touch phone the BlackBerry Storm.

Because they’ve dicked us around with the release date & price long enough!

Starting today (Nov. 6th – 15th) you can visit http://VZW.com/Stormhunt where you can view a map of new york city hints as to a blackberry storm is hidden (a photo of one I can guess but not an actual one) then once you find the place there will be a keyword @ the location you can text that to verzion and that will be your entry.

Prizes range from a Blackberry storm (Valued @ $499) a $50 rebate on the purchase of a Storm on it’s release. $100 Verzion Wireless gift card….and few other things.

I’m excited that phone is mine!

Sitting On Trains

*I just can’t ever seem to get away from you*

Saw him on the train today
Didn’t know it cause me pain that way
I didn’t think it would rain today
But it did today, and took the smile off my face.

And I know it’s hard to hear me say this with you I was just chasing pavements.
With the thoughts that filled my heart.
I was running sidewalks in the dark.

When I saw you on the train today
And you won’t cause me pain someday
But you got in brain that way
And you made it rain today

Lessons In Love Part III “Happiness”

If you were to look up happiness I the dictionary, what would you find?

Happiness (hâp î nis) 1) condition of being glad or contented. 2) Good fortune.

The truth is happiness is defined differenly for each of us.

For someof us happiness is defined in the material or pr physical realm. For others happiness is found in emotional connection with others. There are those that discover happiness in spiritual/ psyco- spritual

And what I’ve discovered is all these form are important that they can and do lead to happiness, depending on the individual of course. Which impies the phrases “looking for love in all the wrong places” maybe you’ll find happiness in the spirtual while you’ve been looking for it in the emotion and various other combinations. And for it for others is may not.

But there are some beings on this ear who need what I’ve come to call “Happiness of The Pure Heart”

Where the material, emotional and spritual happinesses find a common ground….

And just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will work for you

Beyonce Oprah

I actually really enjoyed watching this interview

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh8EL5emQi9Ki2wPhi

If I were a Boy

Bravo Beyonce

Kanye West Arrested In the UK

MSN.com:

LONDON (AP) — Rapper Kanye West was arrested after a fracas outside a nightclub but released without charge, British media reported Friday.

The Press Association news agency and others reported that the 31-year-old rapper was detained early Friday after an incident involving a photographer outside the Tup Tup Palace bar in Newcastle, northern England.

Police said only that a 31-year-old man had been arrested on suspicion of assault after an incident at a nightclub. They said he was later released without charge. British police do not usually identify suspects who have not been charged.

The Tup Tup Palace said West visited the club after his gig in Newcastle Thursday but could not confirm the arrest.

A spokeswoman for West did not immediately return a call seeking comment.

West was arrested last month at Los Angeles International Airport after he was filmed struggling with a paparazzo. He was not charged.

West is playing dates around Britain as part of his Glow in the Dark to

Lessons In Love Part IV: Friends & Family

“Love it will come find you just to remind you of who you are…. Friends sometimes will blind you, sneak up behind you; can’t give enough.” 

                            -Alicia Keys ‘The Thing About Love”

 

As I delve farther into adulthood and my beliefs and opinions become more concrete, I’ve learned two things:

 

1) You have given & chosen family, and they affect us more that we could ever understand.

2) God gives us friends to make up for our shitty families sometimes.

 

With that said, socially it works like this: To quote Tyler Perry:

Trees & People  

In life some people are Leaves they are with you for a season and then they wither and blow with the winds

Some people are Branches they are strong when you need them to be. But if you step on them they break off and die

Then you have your Roots these people are the foundation of your life. A tree can have many leaves and branches but only a few roots. But without those roots the tree couldn’t live.

Now peoples roles can change you have those ride or die leaves and branches that are trying to become roots. And it is important to recognize those people 

But it is important to know when leaves are leaves and branches are branches, don’t make people out to be something they are not, or what you wish they were.

We learn lessons from all our relationships be them positive, negative or both those lessons shape our beings. It is important to use them but not be bound by them.

Our biological families socialize us, assign us values, and morals. In turn get us to see what we want and don’t want if and when we have families of our own. At times our life / family experiences can harden us and turn us off to a lot of things but it is vital that we learn as ADULTS to live learn, love and live again. What I mean by this is, let the individual experience teach you.

Sometime our preconceived notations and ideas can hinder us from being better people.

I’ve been through many things in my life, losing my mother at an early age (14) having to deal with depression, sickness, death and disease. At the age of 18 I decided that I needed to get away and learn about myself and life.

I travelled all over the world looking for answers and doing a lot of self exploration. I am very grateful for those experiences because I  know they are hard to come by. And one day, on a beach in Costa Rica it dawned on me,

“We are the same humanity expressed in different frames. It is the same blood that runs in our veins. It is the same spirit that dwells within us though we call it by different names. And the struggles you’ve been thru I’ve been there too.” 

And for those who know me personally, I know there are times when I come off as a “know it all”. And I am not trying to excuse that behavior. I recognize the fact that I know very little and that I am learning everyday. I think God is teaching me everyday…

I have these people in my life that I did not know 6 months ago, that I did not know at the beginning of this year. And they mean more to me than some people I’ve known my entire life. I prayed for these people (yes I prayed for y’all weather you know it or not).

And it didn’t come in entirely the way I expected it too but they came.

And because of them, I am loving again (because I forgot how to for a long time) I am loving harder and better and purer.

I’ve learned more about real love and myself in the past 6 months than some people do in a whole life time. And if they all left me tomorrow I wouldn’t even cry because this type of love never really leaves you. And I know some are intimidated  by this bond we share. Call it a clique, or elitism or what have you. But all I have to say is this:

“They Didn’t make this love so they can’t take this love, they didn’t make this love so they can’t break this love.”

What I have learned or what I am learning is, something rare, something that few people will ever in this life know. which is a relationship not based on ownership. We can’t be bought and we won’t be sold.

Our love is not a safety net or out of a fear that we can’t do any better. Because the truth of that matter is we’d be just fine without each other. But we make each other better, we learn from each other, we challenge each other. And thats not a clique that is a true family.

This is a family of our own design. A group of people with a foundation of pure love, who enjoy each others company, but are ultimately independent or non dependent from one another. We love because we love, nothing more and nothing less.

Cuz lord knows I am a lot to put up with (Tony)

But we have this profound ability to work it out and be real with each other. without trying to hurt or change the other and I think it trickled down to the rest of “The family”

And I love you all more than you’ll ever know.

But my point is this:

 

• All things are meant to teach us
• The family your born into is not the one your stuck with
• Not everyone who says they are your “friend” is such
• No one knows everything
• And when God gives you good people hold on to them

And to the family & Tony:

“I love you in a place where there is no space or time. I love you for my life, your a friend of mine. And when my life is over remember we were together, we were alone and I was singing this song to you.”

                                                            - Donny Hathaway 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morning Coffee Is The New View

These are my girls… I love this I hope they make more check out the 1st EP

 

 

Blackberry Storm Update

So The Phone is Released Today!…..

Although I will not be getting mine until next month but here is the info

The Phone is $199.99 w/ a 2 year contract agreement e.g. $249 after taxes and fees.

A verzion Blackberry E-mail and Data plan are REQUIRED to activate the phone.

Those plans are fairly expensive but verizon does have the best coverage in the nation so it’s fair.

All and all it’s awesome smartphone and I will be buying mine the 1st of december and good lucky to all you storm hunters out there

Stuff White People Like w/ Mr. Midori

Episode 1: Why White People Like Dave Chappelle

Lessons in Love Part V Mr. Intentional

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions, can’t you tell the way they have to mention; how they helped you out your such the hopeless victim…. Please don’t entertain me, Mr. Intentional”

 

In my experience in life, you have lovers and you have haters. There are people who say they want what’s best for you but they are only seeking what’s best for themselves. And at some point in our lives (hopefully) we learn, that only we know ultimately what is best for ourselves. 

There are times when we are in the process of a personal transformation (for the better) And the people in our lives, be it family, friends or otherwise may not like or accept these changes. And the natural response to this type of feedback is to become defensive. Defending your right as a human being to change.

We often forget that it is human nature to fear change, even change in ourselves and change in others. If and when we make active changes, to better ourselves be it making new friends or changing our personality there are those that would prefer us not to change.

I remember when I first wanted to move out of my parents house about 2 ½ years ago. Everyone I knew, minus a few people that it was bad idea. The people closes to me would hold me emotionally hostage and say things like, ” Your not ready.”, “Your not good with money, you couldn’t handle living alone”, “Why do you wanna leave , are you not happy here with us?”

In being held emotional hostage, I really didn’t know what to do. I was trapped in fear and indecision with someone else’s hand on the trigger. Someone who professed to love me, and I thought to myself “This isn’t love it’s a scare tactic”

I think often time peoples intentions are to protect us from ourselves when we are better off making our own mistakes. Making your own choice helps you to mature and grow up. I needed to move out of my parents house because I felt I wasn’t maturing like I was supposed to. My father felt I wasn’t ready, which may have been true. And at that age he could do anything to me psychically  so he held me at emotional gun point .

What is being held emotionally hostage mean? 

It means when people try to trap you in your own emotions by way of guilt and personal insecurity. Like when people try to tell you about yourself. Sometimes we get held emotional hostage by what everybody does too. But who is to say what’s normal.

Remember, We give rise to ego by being insecure. And we are often to engaged in denial to admit we’re immature.

“Wake up you’ve been sleeping, take up your bed and walk. stop blaming other people it’s nobody else’s fault. accept the truth about you, you know that life goes on without you. and your expensive mis-inventions disguising your intentions. Don’t worship my hurt feeling Mr. Intentional, see I know y’all can’t help me. The only help I need to live is unprofessional, the only wealth I have to give is not material. And if you need much more than that I’m unavailable.”

Please don’t entertain me Mr. Intentional.

 

THis my last Lessons In Love Blog Until after the new year, I will return with Part 6 my in-depth essay “Saving The Heros” 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons In Love Part 4.5 The Family Of 1

This is a very profound piece by Ms. Lauryn Hill called  ”Oh Jerusalem” From the Unplugged Album. It’s is pure lyrics genius and she uses straight up bibicical scripture in the song in a poetic from. But the song it self is extremely criptic exspectial it you are not fimilar with the scriptures. I myself did not come to fully understand this song until very recently and I’ve been listening to for almost 4 years. The song specials about coming to terms with ones self, getting ones mental and spritual heart clean in a sense, and when she says “Oh Jerusalem” she is speaking about herself in the state of the world. This my break down, This is the family of one…

I researched all the scriptural links and references myself and the translation is from Eugene Peterson’s “The Message“ an extremely modern day translation of the bible written for urban people. I use it when I study because it really makes it come alive and easy to understand. If anyone needs a more detailed explanation please contact me if you want to discuss this farther 

Oh Jerusalem

 Realizing that there’s no place else to go and there’s nobody I know who can help me/Textbook solutions are so improbable ’cause everybody else is just as empty/Naked as the day that I was born, I try to hide behind education and philosophy/Hopeless explanation, to describe a situation/I can’t see because the world’s on top of me/

Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from the body of this death/Freeing me from dust and the superficial trust of an enemy that seeks to take my breath/Failing to connect ’cause I’m morally defect by reason of the god inside my head, causing me to see only what pertains to me, believing I’m alive when I’m still dead/Limited to earth, unable to find out my worth ’cause I can’t see past my own vanity/If I’m not included then I just have to remove it from my mind because it has to be insanity

Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from the body of this death/Can I even factor that I’ve only been an actor in the staged interpretation of this day/Focused on the shadow with my back turned to the light, too intelligent to see it’s me in the way/What a paradox, having God trapped in a box/All this time professing to be spiritual, naturally pretending that I’m actually defending God, thru my façade, only material

Oh Jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved from thy deception/How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee/Oh Jerusalem, keeping thee from perfection/

Submit to truth, leave the deception of thy youth so we can walk in the council of authority/Forget the proof, a generation so aloof, only following the steps of the majority/Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to thine own understanding/in all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths/Be not wise in thine own eyes [proverbs 3:5] or…

You can’t follow Him/we judge and condemn, just as ignorant as them who religion tells us that we should ignore/Perpetrating, we’re in covenant with Him, exposed by the very things that we adore/We grin and shake hands then lay ambush for the man who has a different point of view than us/Infuriated ’cause he doesn’t understand, bringing up those things we don’t want to discuss/Wise to do evil, we don’t know how to do good/Walking on in darkness, running from the light/Led to believe because we live in neighborhoods, telling us what’s going on will be alright

Oh so repressed, so convinced that I was blessed when I played with my game of monopoly/oh to suggest, that my life is still a mess would reveal the pride I’m hiding is what’s stopping me/

Oh Jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness that thou mayest be saved from thy deception/How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee, Oh Jerusalem, keeping them from perfection

/Abide in me, and I in you, as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself except in the vine/I am the vine, ye are the branches/he that live in me, and I in Him the same bring forth much fruit/For without me you can do nothing [John 15:4], Oh Jerusalem/Your traditions have deceived you/I’ve chosen you, you haven’t chosen me/that whatsoever you ask in my name He may give to you [John 15:16]/

But in vain they call my name, teaching doctrines just the same, justified amongst themselves [Matthew 15:9]/But God knoweth the heart/What man esteems as smart is an abomination to Emmanuel [Luke 16:15]/Just repent, turn from selfish motivation so iniquity will not cause your demise/Make you a new heart and a new spirit for why will ye die?/Oh Jerusalem, please tell me why?/

I have no pleasure in the death of Him that dieth, says the Lord God wherefore turn yourselves and live [Ezekiel 18:31-32]/It’s not the talkers, but the walkers in His word/Are the only ones the Father will forgive/

Oh Jerusalem, wash thine heart from from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved from thy deception/How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee, Oh Jerusalem/Providing you no protection, Oh Jerusalem

Can’t Decided What To Post

Ok I haven’t blogged in anything in a few days mostly because I’ve been extremely busy. And no ideas of come to mind. I by no means have writters block I just have tons of back stuff that need to be posted and I can’t decided what to post first.

Mmm Like that NYSD post which I had madd problems with the video and it took me forever to transcribe….and it’s still not done

I have a few videos I could post as well….

I’m really held I’m with performace and trying to get Future press. I have a lot of work to do with him. I just realized my child psych paper is complete CRAP! So I’m gonna do it over and it’s due next monday.

On top of that I just realized how tired I really am. I have vaction coming up in 3 weeks so I think I make til then.

Life generally pretty good @ the moment.

Saving The Heroes – Preamble

Some heroes sit upon watchtowers, keeping a careful eye from the night sky on the city below. Some heroes sleep upon clouds and ride the wind, armed with swords and sheilds. Some Heroes walk among us, never reveling their secrect idenities. Saving those who are close to them, protecting those who matter most.

No one knows a heroes fears or a heroes burden. No one know the limit of heroes strength or what wakes a hero in the night.
Or how many tears the hero has cried fighting the good fight.

But who watches the watchmen? Who guards the guardian? Protects the protector? Who saves the hero?

I do….

[To Be Continued 1/4/09]

Stuff White People Like w/ Mr. Midori

Episode 2: Why White People Like Having Black Friends

From the book Stuff White People Like By Christian Lander 

I think I have ADD

Fucking swear think I really do. I’m like trying to finish my final assignment for my leadership class which is in like an hour and keep getting distracted and I have like 5 blogs to post which are all like half finished… and now suddenly I got the urge to blog….. Now I wanna listen to Aretha and chill…Geez

Saving The Heroes – The Characters

I am Arthro Kidemonas Ápo Kidemonas, I have existed before time, and I know I will be long after times ends. I don’t think I was ever born but rather created. Created for one purpose, a rather special purpose. To save those that save the world. I am the Arthro Kidemonas Ápo Kidemonas, The Guardian of Guardians, Kidemonas, Kid.

For as long as I can remember, or I guess since the world itself began I stood alone. I stood unlike most men, as an island. The world meant everything to me, but it never knew me. It was placed upon me from my creation to, stand behind heroes, the superhuman, those destined for greatness to keep them from falling apart.

When you do it right, it seems like you’ve done  nothing at all. They don’t know who I am, and they only see what I allow them to see. My strength and power may not always exeed theirs, but it ampfies it. I attract power and gravitate towards heroes in need. I teach the heroes humanity, and kinship. I fight the good fight even better, and from all sides

I know what wakes a hero in the night. I watch the watchman, I guard the guardian, I protect the protector, I save the heroes.
————————————————-
Arthro Kidemonas Ápo Kidemonas  (The Guardian Of Guardians) AKA Kid

Orgin – ?

Age- ?

Species: Undefined – Humanoid

Ablities: Telepathy, Empathy, Telekinesis, Superhuman Strength, Flight, Time Travel, Aquakinesis, Terrakinesis, Electro/Meteorokinesis
————————————————

Walker AKA The Emerald Knight
(Boyfriend Of Kid)(Captain Of The Alliance Of Heroes)
Age – 23

Origin – New York, NY

Species: Super – Human

Ablities: Terrakinesis, Super strength, Mind Control.

Weapon: Emerald Enchanted Sword
——————————————–

Princess Ife
(General In the Alliance Of Heroes)
Age- 19

Origin – Intar Agpa 6

Species: Intarian – Female

Ablities: Flight, Matter Phase Minipuation,
Sonic Vocal Blast
——————————————

Ivan Indori AKA Tempest
(1st Sargent In The Alliance Of Heroes)

Age - 20

Origin – Bronx Via Puerto Rico

Species – Super – Human

Ablities: Meteorokinesis/ Aquakenesis, Empathic
————————————————-

Kaeeli Dupre AKA MindHawk
(Staff Sargent In Alliance Of Heroes)

Age – 21

Origin – Tampa, Fl

Species: Human

Ablities: IQ: 325, Tech/ Gaget Creations

Weapon: Artilary Moprher
—————————————————

Stefan Shea AKA StarHeart
(Gunny in the Alliance Of Heroes)

Age 21

Origin – Queens, NY / Starbase 176 (Intarian Region)

Species: Super Human

Ablities: Pyrokenesis / Hand weapons Expert
————————————————-

Malikio
(Gunny in the Alliance of heroes)
(Married To StarHeart)

Age – 19

Origin: Starbase 176 (Intarian Region)

Species: Human/Intarian – Male

Ablities: Super Strength, Flight, Thermokensis, (minor sonic vocal blast)

Abilities

Telekenesis: The ability to move objects with your mind

Pryokenesis: The ability to create fire with your mind

Meteorokinesis: The power to control weather (precipitation)

Terrakenesis: The power to move earth (earthquakes)

Themokenesis: The ability to mentally heat objects

Electrokenesis: The power to mental channel electricity

Aquakenesis: The power manipulate water

More Coming…. [1/4/09]

Mace For Christmas…Anyone?

So I am now asking for mace as a X-Mas gift….I know I am an old white man magnet. Thats been the name of the game sense I was 19.  For some reason middle aged white love me, only God knows why! But I’m walking up Underhill ave. to prospect park around 4:45pm and this Middle aged white man of course, smiles and waves at me. so I smile and look politely confused as I normally do when strangers acknowledge me in the street and kept walking. But I reach about a block or so away and the guy had hopped in his car pulled over and tried to flag me down.

I kept walking he pulled to on the side of me and told me to come here. Nothing doing! Starting walk as fast I could, and he following me until I called Tony. He turned and went down 2nd street. I was freaked out! that never happened to me before, now I know how women feel, I think….?

Somebody get me some mace or a taser

Thank you

THE REAL NYSD…Cuz I know them Bitchez

*Ahem… In the style of Teneille Monae*

Status: Madd hungry but won’t eat…waiting for someone

Mood: Alright… 

Listening to: I don’t wait you but I want it, and I can’t let it go so you gon’ give it 2 me like you give it to her come on.

Starbucks + Plus saturday + We family = Us talking that same ish….

If you could change the acronym for NYSD and make it mean something else what would it be?

Teneille said: I don’t know in my head all keep hearing is, “Nigga, You’s a…” I don’t know I can’t say fucking Frankenstein. “Nigga, You’s a Stupid Dumb Dummy”

 

Cee Said: … Can I say the “N” word? Nigga…Your Sex is Dumb

 

 

 

Shaina Said: Now Ya’ll Suckers Deal

 

One word to describe your last Ex (or the last person you seriously dated) 

 

Shaina said: Idiot 

 

Cee Said: Belligerent… and that’s all I have to say about that

 

Patrice Said: Sincere (Teneille: lucky you… Patrice: he was Teneille: Smh if my word was sincere I’d still be with him)

 

Teneille Said: insecure 

 

Complete this sentence: I got 99 problems but a _______ ain’t one.

 

Patrice: A Man

Tenneille: A Job

Cee: But this industry ain’t one

Shaina: My hair ain’t one 

If could go to bloomies and get any 5 things and money was no object they would be?

(Did I really have to ask?)

NYSD: SHOES!

Boys are dumb because women are crazy why?

Cee: Naw women are crazy cuz boys are dumb

Sykes: I knew you was gon’ say that!

Shaina: I don’t know, wait! it’s cuz of dumb bitches, they don’t have no other choice but to dumb up. Then when they get with someone who’s smart, because they so smart..their crazy!

Teneille: I’m crazy, and the dumber they get the crazy I become!

 

That’s word that’s really all I can say. NYSD as always speaks for themselves. Sorry it took so song to post this but I think It was worth the wait!!

Late Post Apology

Saving The Heroes Chapter 1: The Un-Breakable Vow

I don’t remember much about June, but I saw him again. I had seen him twice before, each time was pleasant and intriguing. But this time was different, the last time I saw him I was highly involved in a mission and didn’t have the time to engaged him. But I knew who he was and I knew what I had to do.

 

Kid: Darian, Right?

 

Darian: Yeah, hey what’s up? What are doing hear?

 

Kid: I like the beach, it helps me think, and forget.

 

Darian: I’ve been doing a lot of that myself lately…. But I’m going head home…I guess I’ll s…

 

Kid: if your headed to Brooklyn can I get a ride?

 

Darian: Mmm….Sure.

 

I saw him everyday for the next two weeks. Hoping an opportunity would revel itself. To see if my hunch was correct. And I indeed got more than I bargained for. I followed him after we parted ways earlier that day. To an old brick face building just west of Washington Square park.

 

Kid: No door? Mmm

 

[I scanned the building and found a hidden entrance operated by a senor, I zapped and shorted it out]

 

In seconds I was surround by group of men & women with glowing swords, pointed just at my Adams-Apple.

 

Kid: shit!

 

Darian: What the hell are you doing here?

 

Voice: You know this motherfucker?

 

Kid: Listen….I

 

[Suddenly an explosion from the rear of the building shook us]

 

Voice: Fuck he lead them right to us, after we get rid of them I’m going to kill you.

 

[Darian glared at kid and ran off after the rest of the group]

 

A group of “super villains” called the Grinders, had broken past their security system, which wasn’t hard by the way. Into compound a battle ensued. Glowing swords and super charged attacks traded blows. Flames and blast of water, telepathy and super strength smashed into each other in an almost choreographed kind of fight dance.

As I became distracted I realize the Knights were losing, thou they had the home field advantage the grinders had them out number and out muscled. The south side of the building had been taken out by the explosion and exposed rear of the compound to the outside. I use this as my chance.

 

[I made the earth beneath the building quake and the rest of the floor fell out sending the grinders plummeting to the foundation of the building and I suspending the Knights in mid aie. I sent a rush of water to drown the rest of the grinders.... except the ones that could fucking fly!]

 

Kid: No!

 

A fireball rushed toward Darian speeding like a red hot meteor, I flew in front of it and it dissipated around me like it was nothing. I’m not human so it did nothing.

 

Darian: That didn’t even singe you . What are you?

 

My eyes glowing an incandescent orange. And me panting for my breath

 

Kid: I’m here to help (smile)

 

Darian.,…I mean the Emerald Knight and I spent more and more time fighting side by side and he spent less and less time with the other Knights. I taught him compassion for the people he saved and that just because you have an ability doesn’t make you better, just different. And that ability gives you a duty, but you can take it or leave it.

 

He taught me that fighting was not just the battle and the war but the journey and the destination. It brought my passion back to life and I began to remember what I indeed had been fighting for.

 

And one evening under a star filled sky, on a lonely park bench with Darian next to me. I broke the un-break vow, the pinnacle rule….

 

I fell in love with a hero.

 

And I learned to things that night, Fear & Love. All I knew from my eons on earth told me to run away, but I would not and could not! Not now. I knew the journey of the good fight had only just begun.

 

The planet was in crisis, there were heroes waging war on heroes. Innocents perishing in flames of fury. New villains arose by the hour and I could feel the final battle approaching. It was the sound of many running waters and old familiar sound.

 

Darian: There’s this place I think you should go

 

Kid: ? (Raises eyebrow)

 

Darian: A superhero training facility. We fight, learn new techniques, new weapons and defenses. And shit like hiking, swimming, boating…

 

Kid: Wait…. You want me to go to hero camp?

 

Darian: Well…Yeah it’s your choice

 

Kid: Nig….*Sigh* Ok I’ll go.

 

 

Rihanna Still Rock’n That Ring!!!

Happy New Year folks I’m back! and all over that celeb gossip ish!

 

Rihanna was seen clubing this weekend in south London still wearing the alleged engagement ring that Chris Brown gave her… It’s a nice ring doesn’t look like an engagement ring to me… But I guess he liked to so he put a ring on it.

But you be the judge (pictures Via Media take out) 

Thing about Love

this one of my favorite blogger Xem Van Adams… I love this man you can get more from him @ xemvanadams.blogspot.com

 

Future On Facebook!

Learning To Break The Rules

I started writing a song this afternoon titled ” I had to do something” and it’s the first song I’d written in  months that wasn’t about my Boyfriend. And I’m usually not the gushy type but I’m changing now for whatever reason.

So the conundrum I was faced with today was: Do I take him to my dad’s 60th Birthday party?

My mom called me and she’s on her party planner ish (that’s where I get it from) and was talking to me about it and this gonna be really big thing. And she told me to bring some close friends.

And of course my snooky was the first person that popped into my head. The only thing is they don’t know my Snooky exist. 

Let me explain, when I was 18 years old I was dating a 22 year old woman and my parents did not approve and really didn’t like her nor did my sisters. And it poisoned our relationship. And my parents don’t generally like anyone I date because they at the time didn’t think I should have been dating.

It’s a little different now because 1.  live on my own 2. I’m an adult with a career

But I made a rule way back when I was 18…. I don’t meet family until we’ve been dating a least a year nor do they meet mine. It’s best not to get family involved in my relations.

But I really wanted my man to come to my daddy’s 60th. So I asked my cousin/ sister for advice. And she basically said to me rules are for kids and they don’t apply to matters of the heart! fuck what they think and just tell them.

And I thought about it, and I realized she was extremely right. He needs to meet my family because they are very important to me and I have really big family so this would be the easiest way to do it.  I just have to do it right.

But then I wounder why it worried me so much it the first place. Then I thought back, and I realized: growing up in a HUGE family I had to struggle for attention, and when I final got it because I was very articulate and verbal I had to find away to hold on to it.

When I did good things I got positive attention, so in my head I guess I formed the mixed up notion that everyone has to approve of  all that I chose to do. And over the years I guess I took that took  to extremes as far as, school, life, love and relationships.

I thought at first I was insecure but then I realize that I’m to cocky to be insecure about my abilities. I realized that when people (my family particularly) don’t approve of what I’m doing I start to second guess myself. And that in of itself is not insecurity but a delusion.

I moved out on my own at 19 years old, my father didn’t approve but I knew I had to. Talk about LGBTQ issues in a lot of my poetry my church initially didn’t approve but I read it anyway. 

And Now I see that I care way to much about what people think of me. and I’ve began to let it define me, I have trouble saying no. And I have trouble with confrontation. But now i see confrontation is the only way out.

No one is ever going to approve of all that I do. But my family loves me and will respect who I love. And that’s all there is to it. 

I live for God first, then myself. And it’s time I really take a stance on that. And live for me and stop seeking outward approval . I am not a that 5 year old boy in the mist of 20 cousins at my grandmothers house trying to get someone to listen to me. I have come into my own and have my husband and my own family to think about. SO it’s time I learned to break the rules.

Beyonce Finally Shows Some Got Dang Emotion!

So last night as I’m watch each of the post inaugural ball interviews Robin Roberts from New York’s ABC 7 (who I love) 

But she interviewed Beyonce after she performed the 1st song “At Last” by Etta James for the 1st dance at the neighborhood ball. But during her interview she broke down and cried and showed some freaking humanity. I loved it.

Click Here

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/beyonce-and-the-obamas-1st-dance/1280728768

 

Here is her top knot performance of “At Last”

Ray J. Has His Own Reality Show!

That’s right folks, it’s actually gonna happen. VH1 is gonna find Ray J a Hood bitch! And degrade women of color everywhere in the process, “For the love of Ray J” premier’s in February.

16 Random Things About Me

The rules are pretty straightforward:

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. I have a slight panic attack anytime directly before I have to sing in front of other people no matter how long I’ve know them or just before I board a plane. And I sing and fly often.

2. I LOVE COOKIES, if could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be fresh baked cookies. any kind. I once baked and ate two rolls of Pillsbury chocolate chip by myself. 

3. I’ve never broken a bone but I’ve fractured and sprained my right pinky finger over 16 times.

4.  I hate wearing slacks 

5. I have 5 octave vocal range… which mean I can do that whistle thing mariah carey does.

6. I think trans-men are the cutest things in the world

7. I WAS a twin

8. I have 59 cousins in my immediate family 

9. I work in jewish neighborhood but have mostly asian students 

10. I can only fall asleep if I’m on the right side of the bed.

11. I never remember how to use Microsoft Excel. though I know how to use it.

12. I use wrestling as a means of foreplay

13. When I learn peoples names I imaged them written down or I won’t remeber.

14. I only know the name of one person who lives in my building and I’ve lived here for 3 years

15. As a kid used imitate harriet the spy 

16. I’m so shy I can’t look people in the eye until i’ve known them over a week.

Complicated Melody

If he were a color
He’d be a deep dark forest green
If he were a car
He’d be a long stretch limousine 
With room for all of humanity inside
Cause he is so giving
And he is so wise
If he were a number
He’d be a five cause he has such a brilliant mind
If were an animal
He’s be an ass cause he’s so stubborn sometimes

But if he were a song 
He’d be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key

But he means the world to me

If he were a building 
He’d be a beautiful cathedral
Cause he’s so traditionally spiritual
If he were a dance
He’d be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango

But if here a song 
He’d be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key

But he means the world me

He ain’t the reasong for the sun and the moon
He is the reason for this here tune

Cause he means the world to me 
Said he means the world to me
Me me me yeah
He means the world to me yeah

Complicated melody that complicated fellow he
He’s a complicated melody
I almost can not sing it on key

Complicated Melody – India.Arie

My Grind For 09′

The B+C Launch Party really inspired me…you girls are amazing. I have a few “goals” for this year that I’m gonna get serious about!

1. Start Posting everyday

2. Revamp my blog and buy my domain

3. Get a new phone

4. Site Release for my 1st book “Lessons In Love” for late summer 09′

5. Move into a new place

 

I think I am going to were I need to be in my life. there is no need to look back because success is first manifest in the mind. I know I have to strength and the drive to pull my shit together and do it while most importantly. 

Tomorrow: Lessons in Love Part IV: “Cheater, Player, Pimp or Polyamorious”

Lessons In Love Part VI: Cheater, Player, or Polyamorous?

Thinking in the context of my own life and my own relationships, I think I’ve always been a one Man/Woman Kind of guy. Despite the bad rap that bisexuals get about being able to stay in a commented relationship.

But this isn’t about that. From what I’ve seen “Love” is never black & white, starting or ending nor does it move from one person to the next. Somehow it’s always there.

And within my past few years of dating I found myself having to chose between two people or rather two potential types of relationships. In the past two years of dating a lot, I found myself trying to identify were I stood and I’ve figured out a few things.

I am Not, A Cheater….

A Cheater: is a person, in my opinion that wants to have their cake and eat it too. Which means they want the person that they’re with, and want someone else either sexually or emotional. But doesn’t allow their initial partner that same freedom. E.g an open relationship or something of that nature. Cheating usually occurs in secret.

So most times if your dealing with a cheater your dealing with a liar was well. And it takes a certain kind of person to cheat one that does care about the other parties feelings and ultimately may not care about the other at all.

I’ve never been  ”cheated on” some but I’ve been “cheated with meaning I was the dude on the side….which a very fucked up and conflicted place to be.

I thought I may be a PLAYER

A PLAYER:is a person that’s not into committed relationships and makes that known to their partners. A player typically “dates” or has a few “Jump offs” but to say you have a boyfriend or girlfriend as player is a no!

Because after all it’s not cheating if we were never official, or if you’re aware that your not the only one.

So yes I’ve played around….

I could indeed be POLyamorous,

A Poly-amorous person, is a person who believes it is possible to be in love with and have commited relationships with multiple people at once.

For example in a polyamorous relationship, there maybe four people dating at once. So the four people are dating each other.  Now this relationship may not be sexual necessarily 

And I only consider this as possibility because I know quite a few people whom consider themselves Poly-amorous. And I myself, Am “in love” other people outside of the person I’m in a relationship as he is also.

Ultimately I guess the point i’m trying to make is, in the quest for love I’ve ventured in to many types of territories. And in the search for “Real Love” I’ve learned the game of “love” and now I refuse to play. 

I don’t have problem with any of the types of people I’ve listed above, because we could all fit into one of those categories at any given time in our lives.  But love is real it NOT a game so like the saying goes, don’t hate the player hate the game!

Obama & His Stimulus Plan

President Obama met with the house of representives on Tuesday (1/27/09) to propose a $825 Billion dollar Stimulus package.

Which includes:

• Expand Medicaid: $87bn
• Help state governments: $79bn
• Help school districts: $41bn
• Higher unemployment benefits: $36bn
• Rebuild roads: $30bn
• Computerise medical records: $20bn
• Green electricity grid: $11bn

And also includes:

• More than 3,000 miles of new electricity transmission lines would be laid down to improve the US power network
• 75% of public sector buildings would be made more energy-efficient, saving taxpayers $2bn a year
• More than 2.5m homes would be “weatherized” (made more energy efficient)
• Funds would be made available to improve or renovate 10,000 schools

Republican lawmakers who had criticised the rescue package as being too expensive and unworkable.

Mr. Obama said swift action was needed on the economy. He hoped his plan could clear Congress by mid-February.

“I am confident that we are going to get it passed,” Mr Obama said as he met business leaders in the White House ahead of the vote.

Proposals include tax credits for firms that create jobs, tax cuts for 95% of American workers and extended unemployment benefits.

[Via BBC America]

YOU GO OBAMA! Change never came easy!

Lions, Tiger & Bears Video Jazmine Sullivan

Jennifer Hudson Sings Nation Anthem

I think she did an awesome Job, though some people said it looked lip-synced. THAT’S CUZ IT WAS!!! any national anthem that has EVER been sung at ANY Superbowl has been lip-sync because all stadiums may not have acquitted sound systems

Lessons In love Part II (Reissue)

I wanted to post this because I realized that I only posted it to facebook and not wordpress. and for those of you following these series this piece is important and I’m also adding a commentary.

Sacred Love

My Love, is an ancient love, is a royal love 
My love is a special love, father bless this love 
My love, is a majestic love, please protect this love 
My love, oh is a sacred love, oh its a naked love 
And oh, feel so good to be alive (yes) 
And oh, feel so good inside (yeah) 
oh my love, is a holy love, a meek and holy love

oh my love, is a special love, father bless this love 
Please bless this love 
Oh, give your best to me; you gotta give your best to me 
My love, is a beautiful love, is a dutiful love 
My love, is a royal love, never saw love 
like this before (yeah yeah) 

My love (yeah yeah), My love (yeah yeah), My love (yeah yeah) 
My love (yeah yeah), My love (yeah yeah), My love (yeah yeah) 

He loves me hard but he makes me feel good
Yes he loves me hard but he makes me feel
He love me hard but he makes me feel good, he makes me feel good

It’s a special love father bless this love, father bless this love.

This song is very special to me and it explain how I feel about a very special man and a very special group of people whom prompted me to start writing this series in the first place. Love is a supernatural thing, it is a holy and sacred thing to me. I feel that we are indeed born into the world with pure love in our spirits but the world can take that way or rather make us forget what real love is, what love without fear is. 

And God gives us opportunities to re-learn how to love. But real love demands ones best it challenges you to continually  become better. And real love need to protection because there are those that would want to take it away. So I say “My love is a special love father bless this love”

Things I Can’t Wait To Buy!

Tax time can’t come soon enough,

Firstly I LOVE Gucci and I’ve been eyeing these Kicks for a minute!

 

And these Bags…

 

It's $1110 Either I'll save or find 1 off a truck

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And my new mac

Why I love Kelly Clarkson

I’m sure many of you would not take me for a Kelly Clarkson fan at first glance. Or even someone who listen to mainstream pop at all. But I do make a few exceptions for those artist that can actually sing and have real talent, and not just good marketing.

I know this song has been out for a few weeks and is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 right now, but I’ve recently fallen in love with “My Life Would Suck Without” The song is basically “Since You’ve Been Gone Part II” I feel like with this song is very much a song adult love. admiting when you were wrong song moving forward. I love it! So I’m really excited about her new album

Lessons In Love Part VII: Is Your Inner Child Your Inner Brat?

 My horoscope today said this:

You are walking on the sunny side of the street now and even if you run into a problem, it won’t likely bring you down. Your creativity receives a boost as Mars enters your 5th House of Spontaneity today. Don’t over-analyze anything. Instead of weighing and balancing every decision, let your gut reaction be your guide. First thought, best thought.

I am generally a person who dates people who are older than me, and lately I’ve truly realize just why that is. When I have date people my own age or encounter people (men) my own age whom I don’t have romantic relationships with. They tend to act their shoe size and not their age!

Something which I come to call: Little boys in grown men’s bodies. I have always been very mentally mature and only because I’m one of the younger males in my family (my family is predominantly female) So I’ve always been around older people. If i’m hanging out with someone whose 24 who acts 12 meanwhile I’m 22 I have very low tolerance for that.

And I generally don’t associate with those people. I know that maturity comes at different times for different people and it is also a matter of life experience and environment. But I also know it’s naive to sit around and wait for someone to catch up to your level, or continually forced to stoop down to theirs.

Then there are those with the unwillingness to mature, those that know they need to change but do nothing about it. wallowing in there on mess. I REALLY DON”T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! so I just become indifferent to them and whatever issues they speak of concerning themselves.

What To Look Out For

• Temper tantrums
• Unwilling to fess up to ANYTHING or passive aggressiveness
• Knows whats wrong with them but does not thing about it
• blaming other for their own issues
• Inferiority complex

Lesson In Love Part 6.5: Hael + Polyamory

Sometimes I find myself randomly researching things online and most of the time it’s Biblically related . Today I was printing name trace sheets for my students on my lunch and on the website I was using I came across a spelling for the name Rachel I’d never seen before.

This Rachel was spelled: RACHAEL like “Michael” so I looked up the meanings of both names because I knew they were both Hebrew names.

Rachel (Rachael): Innocent Lamb

Michael: Who is God Like

The meanings connect but are not the same. So I started looking into the entomology of the suffix “Hael”  in the Hebrew Origin of the word “M’hael” means leader. And in the Germanic/English Roots Hael means a part of a whole. 

Then I looked up the story of the biblical character Rachael (Rachel is an english adapted spelling printed in most modern versions of the bible) 

Anyhow Rachel was the daughter of a shepherd named Laban. One day Rachel was tending the sheep near a well and wanted to give them water but a large stone. When Jacob saw Rachel for the first time, he rolled the heavy stone off the well (something that normally took many men to accomplish) and watered her flock.

After living and working for a month in Laban’s house, Jacob asked for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Laban agreed, on condition that Jacob work as a shepherd for him for the next seven years. The Torah says those years “seemed to him a few days, because of his love for her.

 

Laban had two daughters the older being Leah. Rachel was the more beautiful of the two. So Laban pulled the bait and switch he put Leah in a the dress the day of the wedding with a veil over her face. Jacob thought it was Rachel a wound up Marrying Leah and by the time he figured out it was her the marriage was already comsumated and it was too late. And he had to wait another 7 year to marry Rachel. And he did.

Now he had two wives, though he love Rachel more. But it turned out Rachel could not bear children initially but had two later on. Though Leah and their hand maids (his other wives) were the first to have his children.,

Leah & Rachel are referred to in the bible as the women who gave birth to a nation. their sons lead the 12 tribes of israel. 

That’s some Jerry Springer shit. But God makes even the most complex of relationships work. And work for Good.

Etta James Diss’ Beyonce

That’s right! And I’m posting this for all you folks that haven’t seen.

Now her talking about Obama is just ignorant and inexcusable. But I have seen a lot of reaction videos to this on You Tube and the one thing Ya’ll gotta keep in mind is Etta James is an old school southern woman. Which means she hates everybody and everything. That seems like a huge generalization to make but my family is from the south and lord knows them old bitches is hateful….

Lessons In Love Part VIII: One Night Stand

“Usually I’m the one that’s in control. I’ll meet em’, freak em’, leave em’, move on to the next man. He ain’t my man, he was supposed to be a one night stand.”

-Jazmine Sullivan

I myself am quite guilty of the old hit it and quit it. I’m person that believe in sexuality and sexual freedom. That’s not to say it’s a good idea to be fast and free. But think it’s great when people are comfortable in their own skin.

But I wanna hear your stories about your own one night stands. nothing graphic please keep in PG-13 and I’m doing a poll on people that have done one night stand.

I just want to get you all’s feeling on it. Is it something you would do again? How have they turned out? How does it usually happen for you? Just comment back!

Rihanna Beaten, Chris Brown Busted

That was the headline on  today’s New York Daily News. There were a lot of allegations floating around this weekend about the Chris Brown’s domestic violence charge. Initially sources were keeping the victims identity a secret due to California Domestic Violence confidentiality laws.

But we all suspected it was Rihanna when they both  cancelled their Grammy performances and didn’t show up on the big night. But Chris was in the big house until 8:30pm that night.

The New York Daily News States, ” R&B singer Chris Brown was arrested last night by Los Angeles cops for allegedly beating up a woman, and insiders identified the victim as his superstar girlfriend Rihanna.”

The altercation occurred around 12am that morning in Brown’s SUV, Chris turned himself in to LA police at 7:15pm that evening. Paid the $50,000 bail himself and was released by 8:45pm.

A security guard at Cedars-Sinai hospital in LA said he saw Rihanna being taken in for treatment. She was release later with minor bruises.

All I have to say is it looks like the end of the road for CB, Black men don’t bounce back from domestic violence rap.

Why White People Like: Barack Obama

Episode.3 Why People Like Barack Obama

I’ve Moved

YES I’M A LITTLE TIRED OF WORDPRESS’ FUCKERY SO I’VE SWITCHED TO BLOGGER….

CHECK ME OUT AT:

HTTP://WHOISMRSYKES.COM 

Album Review: Lily Allen “It’s Not Me, It’s You”

 

Lily Allen’s Latest take her sound in a whole new direction. And the engaged Allen has no lucky with men.

The opening tracking “Everyones At It” is the typical Lily Allen record, 40’s style upbeat groove, with the type of story telling we’ve come except from her.

And the next track “ The Fear” is a little dark of a Lily Allen Record but the singer touchs on serious topics. Like an other track on the Album title “Him” where she talks about God.

My Favorite track on the LP would have to be “Chinese” it’s a very touching song about being on the road a lot and not waiting to get home and be with your “man” and watch TV and eat chinese.

></object> Over all give the Album <span style=”color:#ffff66;”>4 Stars</span>

Over all I give the Album 4 Stars

Perez Hilton & Noreage Twitter Fight…

 

Perez Hilton is twitter Beef’n yet again and this time with rapper Noreaga. First with Lily Allen now this!

Apparently a blog Perez wrote about NORE getting arrested last weekend sparked the feud. http://perezhilton.com/2009-02-23-do-you-know-who-i-am-bitch#respond

From twitter Approx. 3 ago

“noreaga: Alchemist got his brother perez 2 attack me!!!damn alchemist !!“

“Perez Hilton: @noreaga At least you know who I am, bitch! xoxo“

 

“noreaga: @perezhilton who you calling a bitch!!!!???“
“noreaga: alchemist can u tell ya brother perez 2 be easy! it’s jokes queen!!!! All cause u got maxwell on ya 1st single Alc?? LOL!!!!!

“

“noreaga: @perezhilton dirty mud butt!! u must know who I am cause u on my twitter but my twitter is for str8 people that don’t wear wigs!!!!

“

“

noreaga @perezhilton But u r homo n a way that’s foul. if u don’t know how I am,y would u call me a douchebag & a pitbull. google my police records!“

And What’s sad is NORE felt the need to drag The Alchemist, an openly gay hip-hop producer (who I love btw) into the argument, whom had nothing to do with it. That was kinda low and talking shit about Maxwell too. I have a feeling this was just a stunt on NORE’s part to get some attention.
just to clear himself of any homophobic or gay bashing accusations that may arise NORE said this:

“noreaga: @perezhilton dirty mud butt!! u must know who I am cause u on my twitter but my twitter is for str8 people that don’t wear wigs!!!!“

“noreaga @perezhilton But u r homo n a way that’s foul. if u don’t know how I am,y would u call me a douchebag & a pitbull. google my police records!“

“@noreaga Me being a homo is foul? Is it because I’m open about it but you keep your gayness on the downlow??? xoxox”
.

 

 

“noreaga: No disrespect to my gay fans!I make great music that even gay people like. if u don’t like it don’t listen please. Fake ass madonna!!!

This continue on from NORE’s end with some immature high school’esc “gay” teases at Perez.

Lame!

Lessons In Love Part VIII: Life

As I’m coming to a close with this series, I thought I would focus in on the main themes which I’ve touched on in some form throughout. With those themes being, Life, Love, & Victory.

Life is not an easy thing to define, because in my experience it is something enormously fluid and vast. Then I think of those times in life we’re I’ve been stuck in a rut or didn’t know how to make my next move. And I think of the Lyric from Sincerely Jane by Janelle Monaé

“Are we really living or just walking dead now? Or dreaming of a hope riding the wings of angels”

Life is not meaningless boring ritual! It is passion, it is forward motion, not going thru the motions. Doing your passion is how we say thank you for being alive, for it is in our passions that we truly live. When I’m doing what I know I’m meant to be doing is when I feel closest to God.

And there are many who ask, “How do I know what I’m meant to be doing? How do I find my purpose in life?” And in my opinion it isn’t that hard. I think often times we ignore the truth about ourselves, which in turn stops us from seeing and therefore actualizing our true purpose in life.

basically when your doing what you are meant to be doing it feels like the rightest thing in the world. There is a change in you, others see a glow, you feel that passion for it. Like when I’m writing something good and it’s real good I get into this zone, and there could be hundred people around but I feel like I’m the only one  in the room.

Life is living and living is passion, passion is praise.

Ask yourself honestly: who you are? What do you love? What you love doing? What would you die for?

There is no “Life” devoid of spirit or passion or thanksgiving.

So why aren’t you living?

Live your life….

Lessons In Love PArt XI: Love

“… Love is my permission to be who I am”
- Chrisette Michelle

Now getting into the meat of the series, this particular post will be a 3 parter. In my experience I often found myself asking where is love? Something that is supposedly ever-present seemed at times very absent. And I found myself trying to conform to ideals and constructs of society in order to “find love”. When It was love itself I should have been trying to conform to.

That concept in and of itself seems very cryptic but it is something extremely simple. To in fact “just be love” it goes long with the notion of “What you give is what you get” or “To give is to receive“. Now I’m sure everyone of heard this all a bajillion times over, but this nevertheless true. The energy we put out into the universe is indeed what we get back.

So in that regard, in order to find true love we must be true to ourselves first. I believe that we are designed to be different and separate individuals on purpose. The universe is infinite expression therefore we are expressions of the universe. And So often we try to be what the world says we should be and never examine who or what God wants us to be.

And God wants us to be love. Life is supposed to be a pleasurable experience, not the torment we subject ourselves to. And in conforming to societies structure (because that’s what we think, we think we should do) we are operating out of fear instead of out of love.

But when I began conforming to love it seems natural and effortless. No it was not easy! because I kinda had to unlearn everything society teaches. And when I really loved me because I knew I deserved to be loved wholly and holy. I was just me.

So love give us permission to be who we are in a world that says we would be who is says we should be.

Beyonce Connect 4 Champ!

So this is what happens when I’m up at 3am i was browsing around trying to find out who the hell Don C is! And I ran in this post on Kanye Fan Site Blog.

 

“When I was in Europe I would play this game for hours and hours… it helped me zone out. Everybody would get envolved… Derrick Dudley (Common’s manager) and Consequence were the best other than me… I beat Lexi… Don C beat Jay… Tony Williams beat Common… but every now and then people would speak of this legendary connect 4 champion……….. BEYONCE!!! I had 2 play her!…so last night at Jay’s new 40/40 club in Las Vegas (which is sidebar, crazy big w/ 24krt gold flooring, Black Jack tables, $500 slot machines,the biggest projection screen in the universe and the best turkey burgers I’ve ever had in my life) she beat me 9 times in a row! (and I didn’t even spaz lol) here’s a photo of the only game I won!”

- Kanye West

America’s Next Top Model Bomb Scare

Pandemonium erupted outside of an “America’s Next Top Model” casting call at CW Studios in midtown Saturday when an overheating car triggered a stampede of catwalk-craving cuties. Screaming as they ran for their lives, hundreds of hotties in heels toppled over barricades along W. 55th St. after several people in the crowd started yelling, “There’s a bomb!”

Alyson Hannigan’s A Mommy!

Actress Alyson Hannigan, know for roles such as, Willow from the TV <em>Buffy the vampire slayer</em>, and NBC’s How I Meet Your Mother. She and her husband Actor Alexis Denisof had their first child, a baby girl on March 24th named Satyana Denisof.

I swear white peoples name for their children keep getting stranger and stranger. I’m guessing this is a modified spelling for Santayana (like the Santayana winds).

I ♥ Drake

I haven’t been bumping many male emcees lately… I stay true to my Biggie Pac, J, Nas, and Common, Silent Knight. But thanks to my cousins I’ve been obsessed with Drake! I be the first to admit I was never a Degrassi fan so to say I remember him from the show would be a lie. But I love his music and his over all sound.

His single “Best I ever Had” is number 25 on the billboard and he isn’t even signed!!! Thats crazy!!!

Boys + Clothes Issue 2 Launch Party

I don’t know if I will be there, but I’m with y’all in spirit. And all my Sykes heads should show up!

Making my site less public and more personal

So I’ve made a few decisions regarding the future of WhoIsMrSykes.com 

1) I’m moving back to wordpress (more traffic, more professional)

2) Removing public access to my personal feeds and social sites e.g. Links to my: Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, etc. I still will have a link were readers can follow me on twitter. And in the future maybe open my facebook to the rest of the world.

3) Doing a brand new photoshot and a whole new blog design.

4) FAR LESS Celebrity gossip and more relationship and personal blogs

5) Doing interviews with cool people.

Coming back soon

I’ve been busy working on ideas for the site, planning a photoshoot, network, I will be back soon with a brand new whoismrsykes.com… I promise

Mariah Is Back With “Obsessed”

From her 13th up-coming studio album “Memoirs of an imperfect angel” The lead single “Obsessed” is wonderful! I am not in love with the use to auto-tune (she really doesn’t need it) But it makes the song work!

I got three words for this song…. YOU BETTA WORK!!!

Broken Hearted Girl – Video

Beyonce finally release Broken Hearted Girl, a really strong ballad from the I am… LP. And it’s almost how I envisioned it so I’m relatively pleased. But Beyonce ENOUGH WITH THE BLACK & WHITE ALREADY… but there is a little color at the end.

When It’s Over

Rihanna & Chris

All things come to an end not just good things. Everything on this earth has time and space in which it is supposed occur. The bible says there is a season to everything upon the earth. Everything that has a beginning will surely have an end. That’s just the way it is.

But endings aren’t necessarily bad, I think endings are only bad when the general experience was poor. Even so all relationships are lessons to be learned, we learned what we want from any type of relationship and we also learn what we do not want. At times we even learn the ideas of what we though we wanted from a relationship have changed.

But what do we do once it’s over? “before or after I stop crying?”

Generally what I do after a break is kinda review the relationship, what went well, what went not so well. What can I improve about myself for the next relationship to make it work (if indeed the break up was my fault). If it was not my fault however, I tend to think what is it about myself that I need to

Nas & Kelis

improve to attract then type of partner I want.

But if it is your fault meaning you caused the break up. Really think about the reasons your partner gave you for it. And really figure out if the issue is something, you can, are, willing, or want to change about yourself.

Diddy & J.Lo

But most of all give yourself sometime. I know it’s hard to completely emotionally detach yourself from a person you’ve formed this bond with.

Sonny & Cher

How Much Is Too Much

Have you ever felt like in a relationship, “Oh my God your smothering me!” So my question is in a romantic relationship how much is too much?

Now I love catering and closeness as much as the next guy but I am an extremely independent person as well. So for Pete sake when I say so give me my space.

But then I wonder about these couples that you seldomly see apart. Like Heidi & Spencer Pratt, know they’re newly wedds but geez Louis man get out of your wife’s butt!

I personally think two people should be their own people before they become couple.

To be continued…

RIP Michael Jackon

Michael Jackson Dies at age 50. Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.

A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived. A cardiologist at UCLA tells TMZ Jackson died of cardiac arrest.

Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but he was completely unresponsive.

A source inside the hospital told us there was “absolute chaos” after Jackson arrrived. People who were with the singer were screaming, “You’ve got to save him! You’ve got to save him!”

We’re told one of the staff members at Jackson’s home called 911.

While the world reacts with shock to Michael Jackson’s sudden and unexpected death today, at the age of 50, from cardiac arrest, he leaves two children, Prince Michael Jackson and Paris Katharine, by second ex-wife Debbie Rowe. He leaves a third child also, Prince Michael II with an unnamed surrogate mother.

Debbie Rowe, who is reported by TMZ to be inconsolable over the news of her ex-husband’s death, signed away all legal rights to her children in their divorce, so she is not next in line to parent them now that Jackson has passed away.

His will should reveal the children’s legal guardians in the case of his death.

Afro Punk 09′

This year at Afro Punk was amazing as usual. I saw acts that I know and love and some that I was introduced to and I am ready to get to know. This year at bamn skate park the kids where out in full force along with some of the BMX and pro skating vets.

And they had an amazing performence from of of my favorite artist, Janelle Monaè. She killed it!

And I must Say I wanna be like Saul Williams When I grow up

Drake Falls On Stage… But He’s Alright!

Young Money Rapper Drake Fell on stage a Concert In Jersey a few days ago. But a cording to his twitter he’s Doing ok! And awaiting surgery….

Drizzy our prayers go out to you…

Jazmine Sullivan Sings Home At Age 11

Amazing

Back To The Middle

If this “ain’t a battle” but indeed war, how quick are you going to be able to run to chose a side of the battlefield? In my life I’ve always felt this need to make peace with and make sense of everything. It’s always been every difficult for me to me to “take sides”. And I do admit my empathy at times gets the best of me, and sure as hell irritates the people around because I tend to fight all sides of argument. I recently read this post on Libra (The Scale Sign =Me)

Via Astrostar.com

What a Libra is Like:

Strong – Willed, determined, stubborn, complex, secretive with more skeletons in their closet(imagined or real) than anybody else.

They are objective and just but abhor conflict and will give in just to keep the peace.

They perceive the world through intellect and because of this they tend to be very judicial.

They are skilled at communicating.

Despite being independent, Libras want to make other people happy because they value other people more than they value themselves. That does not mean that they yield themselves totally against their principles; they can then be like a rock, unyielding.

They will not allow themselves to become embroiled with things or people which are distasteful, because they have an enormous sense of elegance and morality.

They treat their employees and servants as equals with lots of respect and see their fellow man with dignity and values.

They are very civilized with elegance, good taste and charm and mostly good looking.

However, once they make up their minds they stick to their opinions.

They are artistic, well balanced, with good perception and observational facilities.

They are good at resolving conflicts by compromising, sometimes settling at their own disadvantage.

They are romantics, to the extent of indulging in promiscuity.

In marriage, however, they are successful because they look for a union of the minds.

That says quite a lot about me and most of it is true… So if love is battlefield, I think sometimes we all need to remember to come back to the middle more often and find out balance again….

Yes, Lady Gaga Is Intersexed

Conformed through Starrtrash.blogspot.com via Lady gaga’s personal blogs. The singer does admit that she is fact intersexed

An Intersexed person or hermaphrodite as more commonly know, is a person born with parts of male and female genitalia. Such as penis and a vagina, or testicles and Vagina or vulva, and any combination thereof. There are millions of intersexed people the world over, and she is a wonderful entertainer and artist regardless!

“Its not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that i goaround telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia,but i consider myself a female. Its just a little bit of a penis and reallydoesnt interfere much with my life. the reason I haven’t talked about it is that its not a big deal to me. like come on. its not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. i have both a poon and a peener. big fucking deal.”
- L8d Gaga

Fabolous Feat. Keri Hilson Everything Everyday

Brand New video from his upcoming album entitled “Loso’s Way” Feat. Ms. Keri Hilson.

Fabolous – New Music – More Music Videos

Emergency Room

This is a demo of a new song that will be recorded by Rihanna and Akon for Rihanna’s next studio album. The Song was written by Priscilla Renea & Ray Lavender (of Konvict musik) I am impressed with the lyrics but…
I think for the nature of the song it’s a little too soon, like something doesn’t sit right with me. When if comes to domestic violence it should not be tolerated; in global society women are marginalize, treated as property and not as people in the high extremes. But domestic violence goes far beyond a male and female thing, it happens in sames sex relationships as well, we don’t hear of it as often as the later. In my experience abuse is a control issue, when hit me, think it’s because he felt he lose some control over me in our relationship (which as true) or need to gain control he never had. And I doubt the abuser ever “truly” learn…

In any case this is a great record I can’t wait until Rihanna & Akon lay it down.

Video Notebook – I am not a perfect person

Ain’t They Cute

I love to see couples that look happy together. I would love to see this work for them Kanye & Amber we’re spotted strolling thru down manhattan Wednesday. Very cute!! I think they are a way prettier couple than Jay-Z& Beyonce…

Gaga Tells Kanye My Shows are Gay & They Are Gonna Stay Gay

Lady Gaga says, I’m Gay, my shows are gay, my fans are gay, the tour will be gay, if you don’t like it, to bad!

Lady Gaga is going on tour with Kanye West, but first she had to clear some things up. She told Ye that gay people will be everywhere,

“Before agreeing to tour with Kanye West this fall, Gaga told the rapper, ‘I just want to be clear before we decide to do this together: I’m gay. My music is gay. My show is gay. And I love…… that it’s gay.And I love my gay fans and they’re all going to be coming to our show. And it’s going to remain gay.’

That’s another clause in the Gagaland constitution: Gay culture shall gush undiluted into the rapids of society. It shall not be co-opted, fancified, dolled up, or Uncle Tommed. ‘I very much want to inject gay culture into the mainstream,’ she says, ‘It’s not an underground tool for me. It’s my whole life. So I always sort of joke the real motivation is to just turn the world gay.’”

I say you go girl!

Video Notebook – Choices

Here I talk about healthy choices in relationship, and new things coming up on the site

Beyonce On Relationships

This is a snippet of an interview Queen Bey did with Brown Sista Magazine, where she speaks on her marriage (well not so much) and relationships in general
You and Jay-Z never speak about your relationship…
B – I don’t talk about my relationship with anyone. I feel like it’s important to keep certain things private.

Will it be ruined if you talk about it?
B – No, I just choose not to talk about anything too personal. I won’t talk about the kind of cars I drive or how much money I make. You wouldn’t tell a person that you don’t know those kind of things and I’m not going to tell the world.

Did you worry people wouldn’t want to date you because your famous?
B – Maybe some people, but I wasn’t scared of that because I feel that I have way more to offer than just being famous. I think that once people meet me and get to know me, you forget that I’m famous.

“]

Peep the look on Jay's face as she's scarfing down that food, signs of true married couple

[

Do you think its important for a man to please a woman, as well as the other way around?
B – Yeah, definitely. I think its natural for women to sacrifice themselves in a relationship, but when you do that too much, you lose yourself. Before you know it, you don’t even know what you like anymore. You have to remember that you can depend on yourself, and go with your instincts. You don’t have to lose everything just to please the other person because its just as important that your happy. But sometimes we get so into pleasing the guy we don’t think, ‘are we really happy?’

I think she’s completely on target with last question so often I just want to be a super partner, not realizing I’m pushing my own feelings aside or purposely pushing my feelings aside to please my partner. And I like how she gives that question we all have to ask ourselves “are we really happy?”

Here is a leak of “Slow Love” a possible “I am…” Platinum addition track

Bry’Nt – Dating When Ur Young, Black & Gay

While doing my research for our interview I pulled up this quote from an interview Bry’Nt did with Metro Weekly ,”When you’re a teenager, and you’re new to this lifestyle, you can be very vulnerable,”Bry’Nt says. ”You don’t have anyone to show you how to date, you don’t have dating outlets.” And closeted men will take advantage of a young man’s eagerness to connect with someone of like mind. ”Guys would use sex, drugs and money to show me that they love me back, but that wasn’t it, you know what I mean? That’s not love. So, I was kind of tricked into thinking these guys cared about me through those three things.” You might say he was just getting paid to keep quiet about getting laid, all the while thinking it was made.

So I asked to write about his experience dating as young gay man . This is what he shared:

Being young, Black, gay, and trying to date was very difficult for me. I didn’t know who, how, and when to start dating. I also didn’t know what good dating techniques were. It was especially difficult because I lived my life in shame (being homosexual). I kept most of my relationships and sexual experiences a secret from everyone in fear of others’ antagonistic attitudes toward alternative sexual orientations.

So, from the age that I started dating (14 years old) up until I was about twenty, I was making one mistake after another when it came to relationships. Nonetheless, as I got older, I was able to learn what works and what is necessary to keep a relationship strong.

I will admit, that I do still make mistakes when I date someone, but now I try to make them less frequent with knowledge I have about what didn’t work in the past. I just wish that growing up, I had someone to help me adjust to dating other men.

The same way straight people have friends and family to help them adjust to dating and forming relationships with the opposite sex. Young heterosexual men and women are able to take talk to their parents, relatives, and friends in open forums freely about their feelings, while gay men are limited to what we can say and who we can say it to.

-Bry’Nt

Interview w/ Bry’Nt – Hottest Homo In The Game

Originally from Hartford, CT, Bry’Nt began an interest in music at the age of 8. He started recording the songs he had been writing since the age of 15 in the winter of 2007 for his mixtape, “Porn Star.” Through this process, personal growth and comfort in his sexuality had been birthed. He has learned a lot about himself, and the way the world treats individuals who may be seen as different from the “norm.” Watch out for the “Hottest Homo in the Game!!!”

What was the inspiration behind Porn Star II?

Well the first one it didn’t really have any other artist on there. And with the 2^nd one I had done a lot of tracks that I finished in the time between Porn Star I with other artist so I said I’m just gonna put those songs on Porn Star II. So it was a continuation of Porn Star

What’s your cultural background? I’ve heard you throw in some Jamaican patois in a few tracks and found that interesting so where’s your family from?

Well ( laughs) the area I live in is very saturated with west Indians, I’m not west. I know a little bit of polish, I know Japanese, I know Spanish, I know patois. So when I rap I used those; I have one song where use polish. I’ve done Spanish on a couple songs. Me myself I’m just black.

What kinds of guys do you like or what do you look for when dating someone?

I can’t really say I mean, the list is like… I guess to important things are if they have good heart, if they have sex appeal, and if they’re a good person. And the rest should fall into place.

Turn on / Turn Offs?

People who are not driven, liars… This is hard question. People who don’t have goals, and depending on how old you are a good job. Turn on’s, a sense of humor, someone who takes care of themselves, a quiet reserved, (really?) Me myself, I’m kind of introverted but because of me being an entertainer I can kind of come out of that. Still I can appreciate some who’s more reserved not as social because I tend to keep to myself so I can appreciate that in another person.

Are you really a prude?

At first it started out as the truth, like in the past, I can’t front I’ve had a one night stand here and there. But now a days it’s like you have to work like 10 times harder in order to “get me” You know if it’s a date, if it’s sex, whatever you have to work really hard because I’m not… my standards are really high now a days so it’s true.

So when was your last one night stand then?

Hmmm… I can’t say, I know when I was but I don’t wanna get into that (could you give me a season? Was it in the past….) It was this year.

Hello, Goodbye is that real song or a scenario? (a song about being cheated on)

Oh no that is very real! That song is a couple of years old as a matter of fact, it was about a person I was dating about two years ago. So the song is kinda old and I actually let him hear it when I first recorded it and I didn’t think he knew I was gonna put it out but I haven’t spoken to him since (I don’t know if I’d speak to someone either after I wrote a song like that about them) I mean he was cool with it when he heard it but I think he was cool with it because he didn’t think I’d actually put it out.

Do you think monogamy is possible in a gay relationship?

I mean it’s just as hard as if you were straight, you gotta work at it. …I have been in a monogamist relationships before, I mean it can work.

Beef with Shorty Roc…?

I don’t know if it’s a beef because I don’t have any problems with him personally. We met a year ago at shade 45 studios which is a very popular XM radio series. And we were supposed to rap battle each other, but me and him never battled. I remember him saying in the green room when we met that, he was the king of gay rap and all these things so already he rubbed me the wrong way. Then later I saw some You Tube videos where he was saying some type a little things and some of my rapper peers were telling me that in some songs it sounds like he’s talking about me. So I later recorded a song on a beat he had just recorded on. I heard his version, then did mine throwing little shots at him. Then he got back at me and it turned into a whole big thing. This is still going on, but kind of died down recently. I just saw him to at a magazine party and we still don’t like each other.

Why is it important to be out in a hetero-normative industry?

My whole issue with the whole keeping it a secret thing is at least one person knows…. So my whole thing is if I’m going to be serious about this and make it a career I don’t want anyone to have that power over me to where if I got famous it would be like, “I got dirt on him, I got proof.” Why don’t I just be myself and not give a fuck about somebody worried about my sexual orientation. And be that new face that the gay community can relate to, that’s why I decided to come out. Everything you do in the dark is going to come out in the light anyway…

How come you don’t have any singers on this mixtape?

The first one I featured singers, when recording the second one the problem is it’s very, very difficult to find good singers. And it was also difficult to find singers that would work with an openly gay artist. And the songs that I did have for singers, like the song “Profits” it was supposed to be for an R&B singer so I recorded a scratch so they would know how to sing it. And I was like I sound hot singing it so I just kept myself up there and turned that into a song. It’s just hard to find an R&B singer that would work with an openly gay artist.

In the industry today it is not too often you come cross many exceptional MC’s. Nor does one encounter many fearless and forthright queer artist. Bry’Nt is the perfect combination of both, I could tell he is deeply connected to to the struggles and efforts of the community, with a world of experience to draw from. And he brings that experience to his music in a smart, smooth, and edgy way. His music does to me what Drake does to me, but in a gay way… It’s sexual, thoughtful, and progressive. If you want more from Bry’Nt I urge you to check him out @

http://www.myspace.com/bryntmusic

and follow him on twitter

http://twitter.com/bryntmusic

And I will be e-mailing his manage men my R&B demo in the coming days ^_^ (Mr. Sykes.. Bry’Nt Callaboration?????)

A man like me

Do you think you could fall for a man like me?

I find it hard to trust, at times I need too much. I’m a romantic and I fall hopelessly in love.
Sometimes I’m emotional, or just plan out of control, I love to be in control obsessed with taking the high road. I hate to complain I got a million things on my brain. Don’t think I’m insane.

Do you think you could fall for a man like me?
I love to laugh and joke, I’m quite playful, my knowledge is endless I could give you an earful. I sing and shout love to stay in or go out. I give all I can’t, I’m a real man. We could talk for hours or be quiet under rain showers. God is my hero so you could say I’m spiritual.

I get scared easily and sometimes I lie I hate to cry don’t ask why. I’m absent minded and I forget things. Sometimes I have trouble listening.

But look at it this way, I love hard and I love long. I’m human so I’m bound to do things wrong. But make it up to you I’ll write you a song.

Think about all the possibilities, so do you think you could fall for a man like me?

Forgive Less We Forget

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the concept of forgiveness and where it stands in the context of my life.

Knowing that I have issues thinking clearly when I’m upset, of course I turned to the word. And the Bible’s stand point on forgiveness is clear, forgiveness a requirement of God. We must forgive in order to be forgiven.

Is that why it’s so damn hard? exspecially when it come to forgiving ourselves.

Then I think about Ecclesiastes where it talks about to everything on Earth has a season. So I suppose even forgiveness has a time and a place. There is a parable about picking fruit before it’s ripe, I think we have to allow things to mature within there own time, not ours.

I’ve been learning harboring things no good for your health, letting go and moving forward is essential to life. But doing such prematurely can have slighted results.

We need to forgive to be whole, or else person or thing we hold malice again has that piece of us.
remember that…

Live At Divas Live!

This year I received the best birthday present I could have ever asked for. My boyfriend took me to VH1’s divas live He was casted as a seat filler by Gotham Casting, and he had a plus one so there we were.

I had a lot of run though it was a lot of running around. Because what a set filler does is when a celebrity or guest gets up to present or perform we sit in their seat so there won’t be any empty seat shown on cameras.

at one point we sitting next to Lauren Conrad & Whitney Port of the hill for a while and I didn’t even notice… they look to normal white girls in person.

The highlight of the night was when they sat Ms. Liza Minelli right in front of us! I gaged

I thought the performance where great! The duets seemed a little miss matched at first until stevie Wonder and Jennifer Hudson Performed “All In Love is Fair”.

We had a moment when Adele performed Hometown Glory because it’s our favorite song

And I love When Leona Lewis Performed my new favorite song “Happy”

And Jordin Sparks’ dancers gave us everything!

And when Paula comes down to the stage dressed as Ellen you can actually see me and Tony on TV LOL I’m in the orange…